Season 6

Complete listed story — includes the ending

1. Let the Punishment Fit the Crime

Geraldine Ferrett ( Catherine O'Hara ), a shameless and unscrupulous ambulance-chasing lawyer, is arrested for having an illegal license plate in the remote town of Stueksville. She discovers that the town's court system is nightmarishly backwards, presided over by three identical judges ( Joseph Maher in a triple role) who sentence people to torture and even capital punishment for petty crimes. Her public defender, Austin Haggard ( Peter MacNicol ), tries to get each of the judges to assign Geraldine to public service, but he may have ulterior motives.

2. Only Skin Deep

Recently coming off of a bad relationship, Carl Schlag ( Peter Onorati ), an accountant with a history of violent and abusive behavior, tries and fails to reconnect with his ex-girlfriend (Diane DiLasco) at a Halloween party. After striking out with her, Carl meets Molly ( Sherrie Rose ), a mysterious, masked woman dressed as a body bag, at the party. Carl ends up returning with Molly to her home for a romantic encounter. The next morning, however, Carl discovers that Molly is more unhinged than he is.

3. Whirlpool

In a rather repetitive tale, Rolanda ( Rita Rudner ), a struggling artist for Tales from the Crypt, ends up being berated and fired by her boss, Vern ( Richard Lewis ), after presenting a particularly awful story. She returns to the office later that night and kills Vern in a drunken rage. After she is caught and gunned down by police when leaving the scene, only to wake up in her bed as if nothing has happened, Rolanda discovers that she is caught in a time loop, destined to relive the same day and the same tragic outcome over and over again, no matter how many times she tries to prevent it. Also starring Blake Clark.

4. Operation Friendship

Nelson DeMears ( Tate Donovan ) is a meek, nerdy, and friendless computer programmer who is regularly taken advantage of by his co-workers. When he returns to his apartment after work one day, he is enthusiastically greeted by Eddie ( Peter Dobson ), the crass and cocky imaginary friend he has had since childhood. Eddie encourages Nelson to come out of his shell and meet some new people, particularly his new neighbor, Jane. After being encouraged to take Jane to dinner, Nelson and Eddie learn that she is a psychologist. Fearing that he will be forced out of Nelson's life if the relationship continues, Eddie does everything in his power to get Nelson to call the relationship off. Also starring Ethan Suplee.

5. Revenge Is the Nuts

Arnie Grunwald ( Anthony Zerbe ) is the sadistic and psychopathic head caretaker at a home for the blind. He routinely goes out of his way to abuse the home's patients, Samuel, Armelia, and Osgood ( Isaac Hayes, Bibi Besch, and Tim Sampson), by lining the walls with razor blades, walling off the bathrooms, spilling marbles on the floor, and unleashing his tormented Rottweiler guard dog Bruno (whom he loves to starve constantly) on them. When Shelia ( Teri Polo ), a new patient, arrives at the home, Arnie agrees to tone down the borderline inhumane conditions at the home if she sleeps with him. Refusing to do so, Shelia teams up with the other patients and Arnie's long abused younger brother Benny ( John Savage ) to ensure that Arnie gets his much deserved comeuppance. Note: This episode's plot is adapted from "Blind Alleys" which was told in Tales from the Crypt #46 while using the title of the Vault of Horror story listed above.

6. The Bribe

Martin Zeller ( Terry O'Quinn ), a newly appointed and highly moralistic fire marshal, approaches Puck ( Esai Morales ), the sleazy owner of The Naked Experience, a strip club where his daughter Hiley ( Kimberly Williams-Paisley ) was once employed. He presents nude photos of Hiley that he was given anonymously to Puck and orders him to shut down the club. When he returns home, Hiley mentions that, due to budget cuts at her school, her college scholarship is getting revoked. In an effort to get enough money to send his daughter to college, Martin ignores his morals and returns to Puck, who bribes him with a dangerous offer. Benicio del Toro plays Bill, a security guard at the strip club. Note: Pray for Rain provides the score for this episode.

7. The Pit

Martial artists Felix Johnson and Aaron Scott ( Mark Dacascos and Stoney Jackson ) recount how their latest bout in the ring ended in a draw. While they are accepting of the draw and of each other, their domineering managers and trophy wives, former fighters Aubrey and Andrea ( Debbe Dunning and Marjean Holden ), absolutely despise one another, and take their anger out on their respective husbands. Fight promoter Wink Barnum ( Wayne Newton ) hears about the intense rivalry both women have, and settles an agreement to enlist their husbands in a televised, no-holds-barred fight to the death. Felix and Aaron, not fond of the idea, hatch a plan of their own.

8. The Assassin

Happy housewife Janet McKay ( Shelley Hack ) finds her day disrupted by Simone, William, and Todd, ( Chelsea Field, Jonathan Banks, and Corey Feldman ) a trio of CIA operatives who break into her home. The agents explain that they are searching for her husband ( Marshall Teague ), whom they believe is Ronald Wald (voiced by an uncredited Cam Clarke ), a former assassin gone AWOL, in an effort to kill him. They explain to Janet that they must kill her as well, to silence any witness. However, the agents are unaware that the AWOL assassin has undergone Gender transition and is Janet herself. William Sadler appears in the Cryptkeeper's scenes as the Grim Reaper (reprising his role from Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey ), who partakes in a winner-take-all game that is encored with Sadler as a different character in Bordello of Blood.

9. Staired in Horror

Clyde Beaudreaux ( D. B. Sweeney ) is a fugitive on the run for murder. After being chased by a mob of angry townspeople led by the town sheriff ( R. Lee Ermey ) toward a dead end near a large house, he begs for help from the house's owner, Lilian Charbonnet ( Rachel Ticotin ), a seemingly senile old woman. Once he is let inside, the sheriff tells Lilian, through the door, that Clyde is wanted for the killing of a shopkeeper, but Lilian does not tell him that Clyde is inside. Once the sheriff leaves, Clyde discovers that Lilian has suddenly become younger when after going upstairs, where she reveals that her jealous husband put a curse on the house's staircase, aging any man and de-aging any woman that travels up it.

10. In the Groove

Gary ( Miguel Ferrer ) is an abrasive, hot-tempered shock jock who works in a small radio station inherited by his hateful sister Rita ( Wendie Malick ). According to the will of Rita and Gary's mother, Rita is not allowed to fire her brother for bringing in low ratings, instead demoting him to the graveyard shift. Rita also assigns Gary a new partner, Valerie ( Linda Doucett ), who helps his ratings skyrocket. Trying to take the show in a new direction, Gary accidentally gets his show cancelled when he goes against his late mother's will and furiously defames her on the air. Deciding that Rita has gone too far, Gary resorts to murder in order to get his show back. Unfortunately, things do not go as planned. Also starring Slash.

11. Surprise Party

Ray Wells ( Adam Storke ) drives out to the countryside in order to claim a burned house owned by his late father, Des ( Rance Howard ). During the drive, Ray reminisces on his father's last moments, where Des reveals that he intends to give the property to charity. Furious about claiming what is rightfully his, Ray murders his father and burns his will. When Ray arrives at the house, he unexpectedly discovers a party going on inside, but soon learns however that both the house and the partygoers share a horrible legacy. Also starring Jake Busey.

12. Doctor of Horror

Richard ( Hank Azaria ) and Charlie ( Travis Tritt ) are two bumbling security guards who work in a morgue. After discovering mad scientist Dr. Orloff ( Austin Pendleton ) attempting to steal a corpse, the doctor explains to the guards on how he believes, if done in just the right way, souls can be extracted from the recently deceased, having been stealing bodies in his quest to obtain one. After Orloff pays the two guards a large amount of money to steal and later dump corpses for him, Charlie begins having doubts about whether what they are doing is right or not, prompting Richard to decide that Charlie must have quite a soul himself. Also starring Ben Stein.

13. Comes the Dawn

Colonel Parker ( Michael Ironside ) and Sergeant Burrows ( Bruce Payne ) are a pair of veterans of Operation Desert Storm who have traveled to Alaska to do some illegal grizzly bear poaching. The soldiers meet local game warden and fellow veteran Jeri Drumbeater ( Vivian Wu ), who takes them to an abandoned weather station supposedly used as a hibernation site for bears. Instead, the hunters find themselves becoming the hunted when the station turns out to hold a nest of ravenous vampires. Also starring Susan Tyrrell.

14. 99 & 44/100% Pure Horror

Luden Sandelton ( Bruce Davison ), the meek and mild-mannered president of the Dermasmooth soap company, decides that the company's latest advertising campaign is a failure. To that end, he ends up firing the person who designed the artwork: Willa ( Cristi Conaway ), his greedy, unfaithful, and narcissistic wife, who has a penchant for gory artwork. Upon learning that she has been fired and that her work is being universally panned, Willa goes on a psychotic rampage, getting her own deadly ideas to rectify the situation.

15. You, Murderer

In this unique tale, Lou Spinelli, the corpse of a former criminal-turned legitimate businessman who, thanks to plastic surgery, bears a striking resemblance to Humphrey Bogart (portrayed by Bogart himself through archive footage and voiced by Bogart impersonator Robert Sacchi ), reminisces on the set of circumstances that left him dead, but still able to see, hear, and feel everything around him. The story, shown entirely from Lou's point of view, involves a plot of greed, lust, and murder involving his best friend, Oscar Charles ( John Lithgow ), his ex-wife, Betty ( Isabella Rossellini ), and his lover, Erica ( Sherilyn Fenn ), in a morbid homage to classic film noir. Note: There are numerous references to Bogart's films and career, especially his famous line "Here's looking at you, kid", throughout the episode.