S3E2 · (I Don't Want to Go to) Chelsea

Ted (Jason Sudeikis) is visited by Trent Crimm (James Lance), who wants to write a book about AFC Richmond. Despite being warned by Rebecca (Hannah Waddingham), Keeley (Juno Temple) and Higgins (Jeremy Swift), Ted tells Trent to write it. The club also discovers that Zava (Maximilian Osinski), a talented footballer, has left Juventus FC, and many clubs want him. Despite his talent, Zava has earned a reputation for being difficult to work with, lasting only a single season with each club. Rebecca decides to meet him after realizing that West Ham United F.C. is interested in him.

Jamie (Phil Dunster) discovers that Keeley is single and offers a hug to Roy (Brett Goldstein), who refuses to disclose details. Despite wanting to keep it a secret, confusion causes Roy to reveal it to the club, embarrassing him. Roy is also forced to share his office with Trent, who will stay close to the club throughout the season. He refuses to talk with Trent and forbids the players from doing so. Meanwhile, Keeley is making several impractical decisions for KJPR, frustrating Barbara (Katy Wix). During a photoshoot, Keeley runs into an old friend, Shandy Fine (Ambreen Razia), who helps her with the shoot and reduces costs. When she decides to hire Shandy for a job, Barbara calls her out for hiring someone with no experience. Keeley convinces her to give Shandy a chance.

While the club leaves for their first match of the season against Chelsea F.C., Rebecca is informed that Zava will be joining Chelsea, delighting her that Rupert (Anthony Head) failed to sign him. But while Richmond is losing the game during the first half, Rebecca sees Rupert arrive and use his charm on Zava in order to sign him to West Ham. She confronts Zava in the bathroom, where she insults him, tells him he's overrated and challenges him to join a team that may not win without him.

During halftime, Roy finally explains to Trent why he is giving him the cold shoulder: Trent wrote a scathing article about Roy when he first played for Chelsea at 17 years old. Trent regrets his remarks and both reconcile. During the second half, Richmond scores when the ball bounces off Dani's face into the goal, ending the game with a 1–1 tie.

At the post-game press conference, Zava shocks the media by announcing that he will play for Richmond and not Chelsea. While talking with Ted and Trent, Roy reminisces about his career at Chelsea, revealing he quit the team over his concern about his worsening skills. He admits he occasionally wonders if he should have stayed and allowed himself to simply enjoy the sport.