S1E8 · The Diamond Dogs

AFC Richmond returns home after their victory, hungover from their celebration, including Ted (Jason Sudeikis) after his one-night stand with Sassy (Ellie Taylor). He expresses his concerns to Beard (Brendan Hunt), Nate (Nick Mohammed) and Higgins (Jeremy Swift).

Keeley (Juno Temple) questions Roy (Brett Goldstein) about the kiss, but he brushes it off. When Jamie (Phil Dunster) visits her, she has sex with him, which upsets Roy. Roy asks Ted about the situation, so Ted calls the "Diamond Dogs" – Beard, Nate and Higgins – for advice. They note that, as Roy was never in a relationship with Keeley, he must act mature. This prompts Roy to open up to Keeley, telling her he is interested in a date with her. As they walk to dine, a paparazzo photographs them kissing, so Roy steals his memory card.

Ted accompanies Rebecca (Hannah Waddingham) to a pub for a meeting with two minority club owners. There, they run into Rupert (Anthony Head), who reveals he just got engaged to his new girlfriend, Bex. Rupert also reveals that Bex has bought the shares of the other club co-owners, which will allow Rupert to reclaim ownership when they get married. Ted makes a bet with Rupert over a game of darts: if Rupert wins, he can control the line-ups for two games, and if Ted wins, Rupert cannot approach the owners' box. Ted easily wins the game, checking out with a big fish, sharing a story about how people have always underestimated him, indirectly criticizing Rupert for his arrogance.

Back at the office, Higgins tells Rebecca that there are 10,000 unsold seats for the last game of the season, which could be occupied by the rival team's supporters, but Rebecca is still intent in ruining the club to punish Rupert. Fed up, he quits and storms out. Then Keeley enters and tells Rebecca that – thanks to the memory card – she and Roy know that Rebecca hired the paparazzo who photographed her encounter with Ted. She tells Rebecca to tell Ted, or she will.