Season 7

Complete listed story — includes the ending

1. Funkhouser's Crazy Sister

Cheryl tells Larry that she preferred life with him when he was working, because she only had him in her life part-time. With Loretta sick and awaiting the results of a biopsy, Larry is tired of looking after her and attempts to break up with her before the results arrive. Larry is horrified when her doctor tells him that she has cancer and will take two to four years to recover, during which she will need a lot of looking after. Jeff has sex with Marty Funkhouser's mentally unstable sister, Bam Bam ( Catherine O'Hara ).

2. Vehicular Fellatio

Larry is increasingly unhappy with Loretta's demands on him. He arranges an appointment for both of them with a doctor who is renowned for encouraging cancer patients to remove themselves from bad relationships, so that Loretta will leave Larry. To increase the chance of that, he deliberately does several annoying things during the consultation. Loretta decides not to see the doctor again because she thinks she sees her giving her husband a blowjob as he is driving. Larry refuses contact with Richard's new girlfriend because Jeff told him she recently gave Richard a blowjob in the car. Jeff crashes his car while receiving a blowjob from Susie. Leon is enjoying an affair with his friend's wife. When the friend comes to the house, Larry helps her hide from him in his car. Loretta sees this, and wrongly assumes that she is giving Larry a blowjob. Larry does not try to correct her, as she ends their relationship due to assuming he is cheating on her and the Blacks move out. However, Leon stays, which Larry is puzzled and disappointed about.

3. The Reunion

After years of resistance, Larry agrees to do a Seinfeld reunion special when he realizes that giving Cheryl a major role as George Costanza 's ex-wife might make her decide to return to him. As a thank you from NBC for Larry agreeing to do the reunion special, he and Jeff get tickets to a sold out Lakers game, only to find those seats nowhere near courtside. Larry identifies that Susie has Lyme disease and tells her that she is ungrateful to him for saving her life.

4. The Hot Towel

Larry suffers a burn to his hand when handed a hot towel on a plane, leading to a visit to Dr. Morrison ( Philip Baker Hall ). Larry learns Dr. Morrison lives near him and manages to get his phone number, but tells Larry to use his notification service phone number in case of any issues. At Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen 's anniversary party, Larry finds Christian Slater eating up large quantities of caviar and relays the information to Mary, angering Slater. Jeff and Susie's daughter Sammi performs " Can't Take My Eyes Off You " as an anniversary gift for Ted and Mary, but Larry stops the performance after becoming irritated with Sammi's singing. Larry gives Ted and Mary a $300 gift card to a high-end Italian restaurant as his anniversary gift to them, but gets offended when they use the gift card to take out Jeff and Susie. Larry becomes reacquainted with an old girlfriend, Mary Jane Porter ( Sherry Stringfield ), but later learns that she is in a relationship with another man and Mary Jane had revealed his name and address. To avoid Mary Jane's boyfriend, Larry flees to Dr. Morrison's and Ted's house, but is rejected by both before being accepted by Jeff and Susie. The next morning, Larry overhears Sammi singing again and yells "Shut the fuck up" at her, leading him to be kicked out by Susie. Later, while fleeing again from Mary Jane's boyfriend, Larry is spotted by Christian Slater, who eagerly points out his whereabouts to Mary Jane's boyfriend.

5. Denise Handicap

Larry begins dating a disabled woman, Denise, who uses a wheelchair. He is pleased at the advantages of having a wheelchair-using significant other, including being given priority in restaurants. They plan to attend a Kim Chee Yun recital being held by Larry's friends. However, Larry cannot contact his new date after Susie throws his BlackBerry into the ocean. Trying to find Denise, Larry meets another wheelchair-using woman, Wendy, whom he takes instead. After arriving with her, Jeff shows him that Denise is also present, which leads to both women confronting Larry.

6. The Bare Midriff

Larry and Jerry have problems with their assistant ( Jillian Bell ), who always wears clothes that expose her large abdomen. Larry offends Richard. Larry accidentally splashes his urine onto the assistant's mother's painting of Jesus, which is misinterpreted by her as a miracle of making tears flow from Jesus' eyes. When Richard confronts Larry, it reminds the mother of her husband's murder, so she deliberately drives at Richard, wrongly assuming he is about to beat Larry up.

7. The Black Swan

Larry criticizes the social convention of introducing people. At his golf club, Larry berates Norm for playing slowly; Norm dies of a heart attack shortly after, which Larry is blamed for. Larry kills Matsue Takahashi's black swan named Kyoko with his golf club when it flies close to him, which his friends find out about. He breaks the club's rule that mobile phones must be switched off when he forgets to turn off his BlackBerry. He seeks to correct a spelling mistake on his mother's gravestone. He offers to pay for his cousin Andy's daughter Skylar's college tuition fees. Larry accidentally offends the gravestone stonemason. The stonemason calls Larry a "Swan killer" on his mother's gravestone which Takahashi sees.

8. Officer Krupke

When Susie discovers the panties of a woman whom Jeff is cheating on her with in his car, he falsely claims they are Larry's in order to cover up the cheating, which Larry goes along with. Larry is trying on pants in Banana Republic when the fire alarm goes off, and has to leave wearing them, security tag attached. When he returns to the store to exchange them for his own pants, he finds that they have been lost, so he refuses to give back those he is wearing. Larry meets a police officer with the surname Krupke and is surprised with him being unaware that he shares his name with a West Side Story character. Cheryl competes for the Seinfeld role of George's ex-wife, but the role is instead given to Virginia ( Elisabeth Shue ). Virginia and her husband Dennis ( John Schneider ) offer Cheryl a threesome, angering Larry, who wants Cheryl to have a threesome with him instead. A bearded Ben Affleck has an uncredited cameo role exiting Banana Republic.

9. The Table Read

At the Seinfeld reunion table read, Larry befriends a nine-year-old girl ( Sierra McCormick ) who later annoys him by frequently text-messaging him. To calm Michael Richards' nerves, Leon poses as a man who had battled Groat's disease, which fails when the widow of the man Leon is pretending to be tells Michael that her husband died two months ago. Jerry Seinfeld and Marty bond over a joke. Larry regrets lending his pen to Jason Alexander. Many Seinfeld supporting actors are shown rehearsing their roles in the reunion special, including Steve Hytner ( Kenny Bania ), Estelle Harris ( Estelle Costanza ), and Wayne Knight ( Newman ).

10. Seinfeld

Larry is hopeful that his plan is working when Cheryl invites him over to review the Seinfeld reunion script. But when an attempt to repay a favor to Mocha Joe causes Larry to miss the date, Cheryl turns to Jason for coaching, which makes Larry jealous. Julia Louis-Dreyfus wrongly blames Larry for leaving a ring stain on her antique wooden table, so he tries to find out who did so. When he discovers it was Cheryl, he asks her to phone Julia to tell her, which she refuses to do.